Nach Tod der Tochter: Mann gründet Fußballmannschaft für verwaiste Väter

Etta wurde nur 27 Tage alt

Nach Tod der Tochter: Mann gründet Fußballmannschaft für verwaiste Väter

Um die Trauer über seine verstorbene Tochter Etta besser verarbeiten zu können, gründete Samuel Woolford ein Fußball-Team für verwaiste Väter.
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Nur 27 Tage nach ihrer Geburt verlieren Samuel und Emily Woolford aus dem englischen Salisbury ihr kleines Töchterchen Etta. Um besser mit seiner Trauer umgehen zu können, gründet Papa Samuel ein Fußballteam – bei dem, wie er sagt, niemand freiwillig Mitglied werden möchte. Das Besondere an der Mannschaft: Hier spielen nur Väter, die ihre Kinder verloren haben.

Baby Etta litt am Hypoplastischen Linksherzsyndrom

Als Samuels Frau Emily in der 20. Schwangerschaftswoche ist, stellt sich bei einer Untersuchung beim Arzt heraus, dass ihr ungeborenes Kind einen schweren Herzfehler hat. Dieser verhindert, dass die Organe des Mädchens ausreichend mit Blut versorgt werden. "Uns wurde gesagt, dass Kinder mit diesem Defekt im frühen Teenageralter sterben, wenn sie keine Herztransplantation bekommen", berichtet Samuel der Nachrichtenagentur "PA Real Life". Doch selbst mit einer Herztransplantation sei der Defekt namens Hypoplastisches Linksherzsyndrom (HLHS) irreparabel, so der Vater weiter. Kein Betroffener sei bisher älter als 30 Jahre alt geworden.

Nach der Diagnose sitzt der Schock bei den werdenden Eltern tief. Doch ein Schwangerschaftsabbruch kommt für das Paar nicht infrage. Und dann - wie durch ein Wunder - macht das kleine Mädchen in Mama Emilys Bauch plötzlich immer mehr Fortschritte. Von Tag zu Tag geht es ihm immer besser - die Ärzte glauben sogar, dass das Baby um eine schwere Operation erst einmal herum kommen könnte. "Wir waren überglücklich", erinnert sich Samuel.

Im November 2019 erblickt Etta Grace Libi Woolford das Licht der Welt. Und auch nach der Geburt scheint sich das Kind zunächst prächtig zu entwickeln. "Ihre Haut war hellrosa, im Gegensatz zu anderen Babys mit Herzerkrankungen, die ein wenig blau aussehen können. Sie war einfach ein süßes, rundes Baby", schwärmt Papa Samuel über sein kleines Mädchen.

Lese-Tipp: Trauerbewältigung nach Verlust des Kindes: Expertin gibt Tipps für verwaiste Eltern

SONDERKONDITIONEN: Satzpreis! Samuel and Emily with baby Etta on the day she died (PA Real Life) *** Grief-stricken dad who lost his baby daughter after
just 27 days starts a football team with other
bereaved men
By Jack Clover, PA Real Life
A father has spoken with searing honesty of his deep emotional grief following the
privilege of becoming a dad to baby Etta only to lose the daughter he will always be
"immensely proud of" after just 27 days.
Now balancing his grief at losing a child with his joy at the arrival of his son, Reuben, six
weeks ago, civil servant Samuel Woolford, 31, told how, encouraged by his primary
school teacher wife Emily, 30, he found other men to share his painful feelings with in the
unlikely setting of a football pitch.
Samuel, of Salisbury, Wiltshire, founded Sands United Salisbury last year, which he
describes as a football team that no one wants to play for, because each player has a
galling tale of losing a child in pregnancy, childbirth or the first month of life.
Also dad to Ezra, who is three-and-a-half, Samuel - who does not want to share photos of
Reuben or Ezra - said: "Hearing the news about Reuben's arrival, my family said, Oh,
you must be delighted.
Of course, I'm delighted, but I'm also stressed, I'm also terrified and I'm also quite sad
because it's not Etta.
People don't get that. They think that I'm weird because I'm not just exclusively happy
that I've just had a son.
Of course, I am, but I'm also deeply, deeply sad that my son isn't here with his sister.
The men on the football team, get that. They know how I feel."
Samuel and Emily had always wanted a large family, so when she discovered she was
pregnant for a second time with Etta they were delighted.
Samuel was in Munich on a business trip when she took a positive test, but pretended i t
was negative, before posting it to their address, ready for him to open the envelope and
discover the good news when he came home.
I was being so thick I was thinking, Why has someone sent me a positive pregnancy test
in the post,'" he recalled.
When Emily looked at me like I was an idiot, filming the whole thing, I realised what was
going on.
Then we all had a big cuddle. It was very exciting news. It was a moment of pure
excitement and joy.
But at their 20-week scan a cloud began to form over the pregnancy.
It's an abnormality scan' where they check for developmental issues, said Samuel.
The sonographer said, 'I think theres something wrong with your babys heart and we
need to get a second opinion from the consultant.'"
A nightmare two days followed, as they waited in limbo for news.
Back home, we walked through the door and my wife burst into tears and I burst into
tears and it was a surreal, hellish two days, said Samuel.
Sadly, having their baby's health problem confirmed was even worse than the waiting
when they were told she had a hypoplastic left heart a critical congenital heart defect
that affects normal blood flow through the organ.
We were told that without a heart transplant in their early teens, children with this defe ct
die," said Samuel.
"Its irreparable even with a heart transplant. The oldest person alive with hypoplastic left
heart is in their early thirties.
After the diagnosis, I dont think I had feelings. It was just a complete shock. I was
completely blindsided.
We just sat there in silence thinking, 'We cant believe this is happening to us.'"
At this point, the family moved to hospital accommodation in Bristol, so Emily's pregnancy
could be monitored at a specialist unit at Bristol St Michael's.
But, miraculously, the condition of the baby they now knew to be a girl, improved in leaps
and bounds.
From being told we could consider termination, by the end of the pregnancy we were
being told she would not need immediate heart surgery and she could one d ay become a
high-performance athlete. She could be an Olympian.
It was like chalk and cheese, night and day, we were just over the moon.
Baby Etta was born on 26 November 2019.
Called Etta Grace Libi Woolford Libi being the Hebrew for heart both because of her
condition and because of the special place she had in her parents' hearts - she weighed
7lbs 8oz.
Samuel said: She was born and she looked so well.
"She was bright pink, unlike other babies with heart conditions that can look a little blue,
she was just a fat cute baby.
I went back to the Airbnb where my in-laws were staying to see them and our son and
remember walking down the hill with a grin on my face.
For the first seven days, Etta did very well and her parents were planning for he r to come
home for three or four months, before returning to hospital for some heart surgery, which
they hoped would be the end of it.
Then, on day seven, the hospital doctors called them, breaking the news that she was
experiencing heart failure
She was just 10 days old when she had her first open heart surgery.
During a 13-hour operation, she had a triple bypass and was left with her chest open, as
medics now belie — Emily und Samuel Woolford mit ihrer Tochter Etta.
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„Die Welt brach zusammen"

Doch an Tag sieben ihres neuen Lebens versagt Ettas Herz, sie muss sofort operiert werden – dreizehn Stunden lang, am offenen Herzen. Und auch nach der Operation geht Ettas Kampf ums Überleben weiter, denn das Herz des kleinen Mädchens wird immer schwächer. Ein paar Wochen später teilen die Ärzte den Eltern mit, dass es keine Rettung mehr für ihr Baby gibt.

„Wir haben noch Abdrücke von ihren Händen und Füßen und ein paar Fotos gemacht“, erinnert sich der trauernde Vater im Gespräch mit "PA Real Life" an die schreckliche Zeit. „Dann haben wir mit ihr gekuschelt und ihr Geschichten vorgelesen, während die Ärzte die Maschine ausgeschaltet haben.“

Am 23. Dezember 2019 verstirbt Etta Woolford, mit gerade einmal 27 Tagen, in den Armen ihrer Eltern. „Die Welt brach zusammen“, so Samuel Woolford.

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Posttraumatische Belastungsstörung durch Tod des Babys

Nach Ettas Tod habe er eine tiefe, inbrünstige Trauer verspürt, die durch zwei nachfolgende Fehlgeburten noch verstärkt wurden. Während Emily andere Frauen findet, mit denen sie über ihren Schmerz sprechen kann, findet Samuel kein Ventil für seine tiefe Trauer, die ihn immer mehr einnimmt. Bis heute leidet der Vater an einer posttraumatischen Belastungsstörung (PTBS) und wacht nachts schweißgebadet auf, wenn er mal wieder davon träumt, wie seine Etta wiederbelebt wird.

Irgendwann hört Emily von einem Fußballteam für verwaiste Eltern und motiviert ihren Mann dazu, ein solches Team auch in Salisbury zu gründen. Gesagt, getan: Im August 2020 ruft Samuel seine Mannschaft, den Sands United FC Salisbury, ins Leben.

Lese-Tipp: Tabuthema Fehlgeburt - müssen wir damit offener umgehen?

Durch ihre Trauer verbunden

SONDERKONDITIONEN: Satzpreis! Sands United FC Salisbury (PA Real Life) *** Grief-stricken dad who lost his baby daughter after
just 27 days starts a football team with other
bereaved men
By Jack Clover, PA Real Life
A father has spoken with searing honesty of his deep emotional grief following the
privilege of becoming a dad to baby Etta only to lose the daughter he will always be
"immensely proud of" after just 27 days.
Now balancing his grief at losing a child with his joy at the arrival of his son, Reuben, six
weeks ago, civil servant Samuel Woolford, 31, told how, encouraged by his primary
school teacher wife Emily, 30, he found other men to share his painful feelings with in the
unlikely setting of a football pitch.
Samuel, of Salisbury, Wiltshire, founded Sands United Salisbury last year, which he
describes as a football team that no one wants to play for, because each player has a
galling tale of losing a child in pregnancy, childbirth or the first month of life.
Also dad to Ezra, who is three-and-a-half, Samuel - who does not want to share photos of
Reuben or Ezra - said: "Hearing the news about Reuben's arrival, my family said, Oh,
you must be delighted.
Of course, I'm delighted, but I'm also stressed, I'm also terrified and I'm also quite sad
because it's not Etta.
People don't get that. They think that I'm weird because I'm not just exclusively happy
that I've just had a son.
Of course, I am, but I'm also deeply, deeply sad that my son isn't here with his sister.
The men on the football team, get that. They know how I feel."
Samuel and Emily had always wanted a large family, so when she discovered she was
pregnant for a second time with Etta they were delighted.
Samuel was in Munich on a business trip when she took a positive test, but pretended i t
was negative, before posting it to their address, ready for him to open the envelope and
discover the good news when he came home.
I was being so thick I was thinking, Why has someone sent me a positive pregnancy test
in the post,'" he recalled.
When Emily looked at me like I was an idiot, filming the whole thing, I realised what was
going on.
Then we all had a big cuddle. It was very exciting news. It was a moment of pure
excitement and joy.
But at their 20-week scan a cloud began to form over the pregnancy.
It's an abnormality scan' where they check for developmental issues, said Samuel.
The sonographer said, 'I think theres something wrong with your babys heart and we
need to get a second opinion from the consultant.'"
A nightmare two days followed, as they waited in limbo for news.
Back home, we walked through the door and my wife burst into tears and I burst into
tears and it was a surreal, hellish two days, said Samuel.
Sadly, having their baby's health problem confirmed was even worse than the waiting
when they were told she had a hypoplastic left heart a critical congenital heart defect
that affects normal blood flow through the organ.
We were told that without a heart transplant in their early teens, children with this defe ct
die," said Samuel.
"Its irreparable even with a heart transplant. The oldest person alive with hypoplastic left
heart is in their early thirties.
After the diagnosis, I dont think I had feelings. It was just a complete shock. I was
completely blindsided.
We just sat there in silence thinking, 'We cant believe this is happening to us.'"
At this point, the family moved to hospital accommodation in Bristol, so Emily's pregnancy
could be monitored at a specialist unit at Bristol St Michael's.
But, miraculously, the condition of the baby they now knew to be a girl, improved in leaps
and bounds.
From being told we could consider termination, by the end of the pregnancy we were
being told she would not need immediate heart surgery and she could one d ay become a
high-performance athlete. She could be an Olympian.
It was like chalk and cheese, night and day, we were just over the moon.
Baby Etta was born on 26 November 2019.
Called Etta Grace Libi Woolford Libi being the Hebrew for heart both because of her
condition and because of the special place she had in her parents' hearts - she weighed
7lbs 8oz.
Samuel said: She was born and she looked so well.
"She was bright pink, unlike other babies with heart conditions that can look a little blue,
she was just a fat cute baby.
I went back to the Airbnb where my in-laws were staying to see them and our son and
remember walking down the hill with a grin on my face.
For the first seven days, Etta did very well and her parents were planning for he r to come
home for three or four months, before returning to hospital for some heart surgery, which
they hoped would be the end of it.
Then, on day seven, the hospital doctors called them, breaking the news that she was
experiencing heart failure
She was just 10 days old when she had her first open heart surgery.
During a 13-hour operation, she had a triple bypass and was left with her chest open, as
medics now believed that she had a hypopla — Samuel und sein Team, der Sands United FC Salisbury
action press

Schon bald machen sich die Vorteile des Teams, in dem niemand gerne Mitglied sein will, für den vom Kummer übermannten Vater bemerkbar. Als Emily wieder schwanger wird und neun Monate später der gemeinsame Sohn Reuben auf die Welt kommt, hat Samuel ambivalente Gefühle. Doch von seinen Mannschaftskameraden erfährt er dafür nur Verständnis: „Sie alle verstehen, dass die Nachricht von einer neuen Schwangerschaft für Eltern, die ein Kind verloren haben, nicht nur eine glückliche Sache ist“, erklärt Samuel. „In vielen Kreisen ist es für Männer immer noch ein Tabu, über psychische Gesundheit zu sprechen, und es fällt Männern schwer, offen über Verluste zu sprechen. Bei der Fußballmannschaft haben wir es alle durchgemacht, also wissen wir, was wir einander sagen sollen. Die Unterstützung ist von unschätzbarem Wert.“ (dhe)

Lese-Tipp: Frau erleidet Fehlgeburt: Diese tröstende Geste ihrer Freundin rührt das Netz